Sunday, February 04, 2007

Sunday Sermon

An interesting day. Met an old friend for coffee. Listened to her ongoing saga of woe in the family court. I was reminded of my own (albeit vicarious) experience with a former partner who battled her ex-husband for the three year duration of our relationship. Comical in hindsight - in a sad, farcical way. One of these days I should write a book about how deal with this weird forum. Unlike any other judicial process it does not depend on the maxim 'justice must be seen to be done'. Of course the worst protagonists in family court proceedings are the lawyers. They take minor disagreements between separated and divorced parents who, in most cases, simply want fair resolution to custodial matters and turn them into lengthy, sordid epics. My ex's cases involved thousands of dollars of costs, endless hours of affidavit writing, extreme anxiety, a procession of hyenas who feed on the weak and the stragglers - council for the children, psychologists and counselors. To question the process is to place yourself on the outer of the Orewellian apparatchik mentality that the family court depends on.

So, anyway…we had a coffee at Rosehip in Parnell, I counseled her not to take the process personally. Hard when your life is subject to an inquisition, I know. But hindsight gave me a perspective that was impossible at the time when my significant other was being dragged about by her lawyer, the opponent's lawyer, council for child, women's refuge, and uncle Tom Cobbley. A stupid waste of time, energy and money. One I will never embark on with my daughter's mother. One day I'll tell you the sick story of how a lawyer tried to convince me that I should sue for full custody when all I had asked for was advice on formalising an order for what the parties had already amicably agreed!

Went for a walk in the Parnell Rose Gardens. Nice spot. Squished Moreton Bay Figs underfoot.

In the afternoon I took Zoe to Paint the Earth; Choose a ceramic piece and paint it. Come back a week later and it has been fired for you. I enjoy it. It's nice to sit at kitchen tables and make craftwork with your kids. I realised I still stick my tongue out when I am concentrating on a task - thanks for pointing that out Zoe. For the record I made single serve teapot/cup and Z painted a fairy.

No comments:

Post a Comment