Kisses aren't contracts

I recently learned that the woman I loved and lived with for three years had been carrying on an affair behind my back for who knows how long before I ended our relationship.

Oddly, I don't mind the betrayal (we'd both been married twice before and had many lovers before we even met; fidelity in that respect seems a quaint abstract - medieval ideas about virginity or 'purity' come to mind), but the deception is a different thing…I could have chosen a different course - had I known - and I like to choose my own path.

It serves to remind me of the misunderstood and certainly overestimated concept of loyalty in marketing - as if we can truly expect fidelity from people in a world filled with infinite choices.

It doesn't matter that people might behave in a fickle way and choose the next brightly coloured thing. More power to them.

Don't simper, don't run after them. Be true to yourself. Enjoy what you do. And adapt.

If you make hand crafted guitars but teenagers want Japanese knock-offs of Gibson Les Pauls, what?

Change how your story gets told, but stay true to your talent and authentic self. Don't assume the problem is what you do.

Who knows, maybe they'll come back, and maybe, if they do, your prices will have changed.

In case you're wondering, I have new love and it brings me a different kind of experience than I wouldn't have had, had I stayed in my previous relationship.

The constant is me and I trust myself.

I came across some thing randomly in cyberspace (the poem below), it reminds me about the power of the self and the need to understand what is and what is not right for you.

Your own truth.

I am, after all, The One and Only (as are you).

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security

And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers

And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth

Veronica A. Shoffstall

P.S: I believe love is something you give - not something you feel or receive (another reason I am at odds with the concept of Lovemarks)


  1. Anonymous12:00 am

    Jingle time: Whitney Houston, Greatest Love Of All.

  2. Ha!, Touché...

    "Then must you speak of One that lov'd not wisely but too well."

    --From Othello (V, ii, 343-344)

    Thank God you didn't suggest some Celine Dion ditty. That would have smarted. And how does WH do that little warble thing? Bit close to yodelling for my taste.

  3. Anonymous5:33 pm

    Veronica Shoffstall isn't the real author. She stole it from a young girl from Texas who sent the poem in for a contest. Shoftstall has been claiming it as hers for years.


Post a Comment

Popular Posts