I don't remember jokes very well. I have a small repertoire I can remember and deliver with confidence. Hence, if I tell you a joke you will be highly likely to have heard it before.
One I tell reasonably well goes as follows:
Two race horses are in their favourite bar having a drink, following a big day at the the track.
After a cleansing ale or two one horse feels relaxed enough to share the extraordinary experiences he had been having at the track…
"There's something strange that happened today, I was in the gates at trentham, the 2.15, favourite to win…track firm, just as a I like it…atmosphere electric…the gun goes…BAM!!!…Normally I'm quite smart out of the blocks...but today…vavoom! Unbelievable...I felt a red hot poker sensation right up my jacksee!…I was off! I'm telling you I won in record time"
His friend takes a long thoughtful draw on his pint and says…
"Unbelievable…I've been keeping this to myself, but I have to tell you…same thing happened to me last week, …3.30 at Addington, in the gate, gun BOOM!…red hot poker sensation, right up me whatsit…"
Just then a racing greyhound leaning on the bar nearby says "S'cuse me chaps, couldn't help but over hear…I had a similar experience recently…"
One of the horses turns to his mate and says "No Waaaay!…
…a talking dog"
Which brings me to my point…yes, there is one…
The Tate Prize for art in the UK has recently been given to a painter. How weird is that? For the first time in 22 years one of the highest profile awards is made to that most traditional of art forms - painting - No waaay.
Tate Prize
One I tell reasonably well goes as follows:
Two race horses are in their favourite bar having a drink, following a big day at the the track.
After a cleansing ale or two one horse feels relaxed enough to share the extraordinary experiences he had been having at the track…
"There's something strange that happened today, I was in the gates at trentham, the 2.15, favourite to win…track firm, just as a I like it…atmosphere electric…the gun goes…BAM!!!…Normally I'm quite smart out of the blocks...but today…vavoom! Unbelievable...I felt a red hot poker sensation right up my jacksee!…I was off! I'm telling you I won in record time"
His friend takes a long thoughtful draw on his pint and says…
"Unbelievable…I've been keeping this to myself, but I have to tell you…same thing happened to me last week, …3.30 at Addington, in the gate, gun BOOM!…red hot poker sensation, right up me whatsit…"
Just then a racing greyhound leaning on the bar nearby says "S'cuse me chaps, couldn't help but over hear…I had a similar experience recently…"
One of the horses turns to his mate and says "No Waaaay!…
…a talking dog"
Which brings me to my point…yes, there is one…
The Tate Prize for art in the UK has recently been given to a painter. How weird is that? For the first time in 22 years one of the highest profile awards is made to that most traditional of art forms - painting - No waaay.
Tate Prize
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